I have this weird hobby of mine, or how should I phrase it, maybe a tendency, to watch movies, which I am sure shall be utterly bad, but still go watch them with great enthusiasm. And there is no better theme for such film, as sharks!
For anyone who has ever laid eyes on lameass shark masterpieces such as The Asylum's Mega Shark vs. Octopuss or its sequel, Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus or one of the Shark Attack films, you know what I'm talking about. Out of proportion huge sharks, with pointy teeth, approximately 412 teeth in their jaws with atrocious desire to dismember every single human being that comes in their way. Or a huge octopus. Or a crocodile.
Ok, let’s leave that and go to the newest invention in the shark film branch of the movie industry. This little thingie is called ‘’Shark Night 3D’’ and it is all over bad. I mean really really bad. Not bad in a good way, as in, so bad it’s really funny or so bad it’s actually amusing, it’s just bad. Barely watchable. Not fun. The ‘’I want my money back’’ movie.
Shark Night 3D is a classical count-down cheap horror with no surprises, no suspension, bad story, no-name actors and very few and very badly done CGI effects. Want to go over the clichés? Ok, here it goes: a bunch of college kids decide to go partying for a weekend at one’s house, which so happens to be secluded. What you definitely don’t see coming is that it’s so cut from the world, that it doesn’t have phone signal and is surrounded by an enormous lake. You may not believe this, but the first one to be evil shark’s snack is the black guy. The second one is a Latina. The third one is a douchebag, who thinks he’s cool because he drinks beer, but he’s no Johnny Depp in the looks department. The next one is the fun, a bit promiscuous girl with the tattoo. After her, the self-absorbed, not so bright guy who spray-tans his genitals. Want to know who survives? Two blond, beer hating, kind of awkward dorks, who are of course the embodiment of everything we hate, but is socially and morally above the average human and therefore represent the Adam and Eve who shall bring us the new line of humans. The progenies that will live by moral standards of today’s utopic socitey, hate alcohol and weed, not have sex for pleasure, study hard, work hard and will always be ready to help. Oh yes, the all American dream. 
Poor sharks. They don’t stand a chance. What makes this movie so boring is almost no great shark action. There is a few of shark attack scenes and only one that is amusing. The shark scenes are short, blurry and each and every one of them is so goddamn expected, that even the 3D effect of shark coming right to you doesn’t surprise you. So all in all, this movie is a conglomerate of poor 3D effects, terrible computer animation, boring story and, well to be honest, pretty bad acting. Well, mega shark at least attacked a plane! 
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